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@pkhaney Even if he gets more hours sleep, you camt underestimate how impactful it is having the sleep at the "wrong" time of day. He sounds like he's really struggling with night shift & crying out for help/change. I'd strongly encourage afternoons. It'll help his physical & mental health, and...

@singlestuggler This stuck out to me. He's clearly miserable & not coping with nights, which are well known to be awful for your physical & mental health. She doesn't seem to be overly concerned for his well-being, just annoyed that he 'snooped'. Him asking if she's happy and if she wants to...

@pkhaney Why is the computer more sketchy than the phone? All these people talking about cheating seem to be totally discounting the night shift. If he were working ordinary hours with some OT, his actions would seem really odd. But given he's on night shift & it's clearly messing with him -...

@aronda75 What about the conversation establishing that parent a would be busy and parent b would not? Surely that at least neutralised any wfh assumption. That said, we both wfh mostly and neither with ever assume that means ability to care for the kids. Because it absolutely doesn't.

@aronda75 You are giving parent b the easy out - they absolutely neglected their duty to ensure the kids had care and coasted on knowing parent a would ensure they had care (either by outsourcing or taking time off). Parent b sat on their ass. Both parents neglected to communicate. That's two...

@corkscrew96 Requiring mum to be on todler duty for even longer after he already got a sleep in, isn't the solution though. He's getting double break, she's getting none. He needs to suck it up and manage the kid, whether it's on his lap or managing to keep the kids off and happy by himself.

@gospeltv Plus he gets weekends with her back that way, not just some foggy daytime and nights of video games.

@kezia Just going to pint out, he didn't ask you to take thebday off either. So he basically walked out without arranging childcare and assumed you would do the arranging- either by taking the day off or outsourcing. Parent b left the full mental load on parent a by simply ignoring the problem...

@bree1224 I do agree they need to communicate. But it's not a 'don't be mad at him you should have communicated' situation. He is the one who pulled the trigger on being not responsible for care, OP hadn't addressed care but also hasn't walked out of the house ignoring the problem. ESH but the...

@bree1224 Right so if both work outside the home then in your book, the first to step out the door is in the right (routine hasn't changed yet) and the second to leave is solely responsible for care by default unless they communicate to the other parent in advance. Because the other parent has...