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Thank you for all your responses, and I appreciate all of them.

I'm so overwhelmed lately and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. My wife(36f) and I(37m) have twins(B&G) that will be turning 3 years old in three months, then exactly a week after the twins birthday, our oldest(B) will be turning 4. There is so much I need to write out but I'm just so sad...