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@toyoken Thank for being here.

@esmith87 I agree. I don’t usually “script” too much unless I’ve ran out of options and/or am trying to keep myself from yelling. 😂 I was just more or less saying I take that approach - talking it out, etc rather than a more authoritarian approach.

@herrf I definitely don't THINK I'm phrasing it in that way, but her comment takes me off guard so maybe? Definitely reflecting on it. I do agree with you though, she will need to understand this forever and it's such a fundamental part of growing up and being a person.

@katrina2017 I'm not sure exactly which ones she's referring to, but when she's annoyed or mad I will often ask what's up or if she's okay and remind her that I can't help her if she doesn't tell me what's wrong (now that I type that out, that does sound super "young" to me asking an 8 year old...

@ernesjohnson I have zero relationship with my sibling.

@ovadya I appreciate your honest reply. I definitely don't THINK I'm scripting with her that often, I try to only use it when I'm very very frustrated and don't have any "umph" left to use my real parenting skills. I agree with kids being a person and I am going to work harder on being more...

@garycan Your interaction sounds identical to what happens here, especially reminding her how to speak. I often say “I’m not yelling at you, please don’t yell at me.” I usually try to wait til she’s calm to get to the next part (explain why and if you have a legit reason I’m all for it) but I...

@eaglegal Yes! I agree she is right to express feelings but we definitely need to teach how to do it appropriately.

@tuckertwo I like this outlook and I appreciate your response. I do think I tend to err or the side of helping regulate emotions and I should start to back off and let her use the skills I’ve tried to instill in her. Wow do they grow up fast!

@bytehoven I do agree with your last point! I am definitely not "gentle" and condescending MOST of the time when I talk to her. If I run out of energy and steam, I might try to resort to that "scripting" instead of yelling but I am going to work hard to eliminate if from my...

@byword I LOVE me some Dr. Becky! I wish I could have just called her in that moment and been like WHAT DO I DO??? haha. Yes, I love your last paragraph! I will add that to the convo.

@thunderchildau Thank you!

@gitanjali786 Love this idea. Thank you for the insight!

@tarlizzy Thank you for your insight and detailed response. I so appreciate the insight from those that have been there before.

@guidedbythelight I am hoping it’s a “functional” fight! It’s hard to see it as that in the moment but I suppose it was productive. At least she is allowed to express how she feels right? Thanks for that perspective.

@samalematina It's scary right! But at least we care right? It has to show we are doing something right.

@madepurethroughchrist I definitely can’t help myself from crying sometimes but I would never say that stuff to her. I would just say it to myself as I’m crying behind closed doors. LOL no but seriously, thank you for the reminder.

@unseenunknown I am definitely going to work on the independence thing, for sure. Parenting is not for the weak! Another reason this kid is the only one. 😂

@katrina2017 Oh no, I’m DEFINITELY not an “I’m always right” parent, or person in general. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves honestly. I am quick to apologize usually too. But I do very much appreciate your insight! Thanks for responding.

@tracey4g Definitely agree with what you’re saying. In my mind I think I’m making it age appropriate but who knows if I actually I am. This is definitely something I’m going to work on and see if there’s a change.