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@mandy123 Yeah, definitely the self-fulfilling prophecies can go in any direction to a large extent. My husband and I were both raised in a conservative religion with rather strict gender roles (Mormonism), but by the time we had our children we had mostly left the church and taken some time to...

@mandy123 I’d be interested to hear what others have to say about this as well, but from my point of view, the differences in the built-in “mom” vs. “dad” wiring my husband and I have compared to the built-in “parent” wiring that we both share is fairly minimal. My hormones from birth helped...

@branannabanana That’s a good tip. I will suggest that. I also suggested translating it in the moment, but he said that’s hard for him to do.

@kufe He speaks mostly Spanish to her. He reads some books in English because he usually does the bedtime routine with my daughter. We let her choose the books she wants to read, and most of her favorites right now are in English.

My husband (Ecuadorian) and I (American) live in the US and have tried to do OPOL since our daughter was born. Originally she picked up Spanish very well and could speak fluently with both of us since she was about 2 years old. Occasionally her Spanish has fallen behind English, but we’ve been...

@mandy123 Do you have any empirical basis for thought 2? I’m not inclined to agree that it’s true in either case (military or being a SAHP) that one gender has a significant advantage over the other. Obviously there some biological differences between the sexes, but I’m not sure that matters in...

@beira It’s a bit absurd, IMO, to expect everyone here to read dozens of peer-reviewed articles on every topic. The Medium article compiles peer-reviewed research and presents it in a more accessible format.

@colby1122 Where I live in the USA schools are desperate for aides. Part-time jobs helping students in various class settings. Generally any required training is provided after hiring. Maybe something to look into?

@x902xxipher Your wife and her family are always welcome to learn German; they don’t need to be “excluded.” I have a hard time sympathizing with that attitude. My husband talks to our daughters in Spanish which none of my family is fluent in (most only recognize a few words), but they are happy...

@ativyl Re: your edit, I mean for both the child and the mom. For what the mom could do, I would recommend asking questions. Like I said, this is maybe too “easy for me to say” because I already knew a lot of the vocabulary in my husband’s language, and thus it is easier for me to pick out the...

@ativyl Your perspective makes sense. Thanks for taking the time to elaborate. I think the concern from others is the negative reaction to dad speaking German becoming a long-term thing, in which case it really can be a big disservice to the child as well as the father. The nice thing is that...

@ativyl I think like some others have said, it’s a good opportunity for her to learn more German, and teaching her can be a way to bond. My situation is different because I studied my husband’s language (Spanish) a bit in high school and college, so I had some more background to build from...

@ativyl Translating everything takes away the necessity of learning the other language. I really disagree strongly with your statement that “it’s what you have to do.”

@lippy1004 You could speak a little bit of English along with your native language in your home until your child goes to daycare so she will know enough to interact with the other children. Then at that point you could switch to only using your native language at home. That’s probably what I...

@oddduck123 I am planning to return to a more formal/paid position in the workforce when my kids are older, but I hope a lot of the same points could still apply for the present whether or not the future may look different between us. My undergraduate degree was in English education and...

@oddduck123 There’s a lot here. I’ll start with the waste comment. I don’t feel my education is a waste because I use it in my current role as a mom. If you read much child development research, you’ll find that maternal education is a huge factor for children’s outcomes. There’s tons of...

@foreverhis84 I would absolutely hate that. I’m so sorry. I hope things take a positive turn for you in the future. ❤️

@monique77 The evening routine sounds fair to me, but it seems like you are not getting enough sleep doing overnight feedings and then waking up early. Maybe you could trade off some of those responsibilities as well.

@questionquest74 Background noise is not a good idea. That has been found to impair language development at that age. You speaking English, singing songs, reading books, etc. is all great. Source on background noise impacts...