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@powerchord Thanks for sharing - I'm sorry about the secondary infertility, that's really hard. I'm an only child because my parents experienced age-related secondary infertility, too.

@ha6enti I took it as not asking about gender identity or sexual orientation at all, but circumventing those things to get at whether you at least had the option of trying the old-fashioned way or only through donors, ART, etc. from the start. A gay couple where one person is trans would answer...

@katherinewkingston I know, but since she specified that she doesn't have a uterus or tubes specifically I thought I would mention it in case she does have ovaries.

@state26 Fertility testing is not recommended by medical consensus or generally useful until 12 months of trying (6 months if 35+). Here is an explanation of why. It absolutely would not be covered by insurance before that (and for most plans in the US, not even after that), so that wouldn't be...

@tim_o Oh yeah, the actual total for my second child's uncomplicated vaginal birth with less than 24 hours in the hospital after the birth was $24,374. But with Kaiser's contractual adjustment and HMO payment, our out of pocket total was $750 (even though my individual out of pocket limit for...

@carriek2993 Not too much detail, I appreciate it! I also wanted a girl the first time and I was pretty neutral the second time, but slightly leaning boy just for the different experience, while my husband has wanted it to be a girl every time. But now that we have two it's amazing watching...

@rainysunflower I have 3.5-year-old and 15-month old girls, husband and I are almost 38 and 39. Our oldest is amazing but has always been challenging - she's just intense! But she has blown our expectations of her as a sibling out of the water. She is fantastic with her little sister, who she...

@sourdough They can still retrieve eggs if she has ovaries, even if she doesn't have a uterus or tubes, and then you could carry. But of course IUI/ICI is the easier and less expensive course to try first.

@tiltv4 My high school boyfriend had two sisters, one who was 2 years younger and one who was 10 years younger. He and his middle sister were very close friends, but he ADORED his baby sister. They both did. They sort of teamed up to take care of her together, were super protective and nurturing...

@tim_o They do count the child under the family plan, but their expenses are very minimal unless they are in extended NICU or something. The child is covered under the mother's insurance for their first 30 days of life and only after that do they need to be added to your plan. In the normal...

@carriek2993 Thanks for sharing! I'm the same as you, we have 2 girls that are 2 years apart and if we ended up having a 3rd (though unlikely because my husband feels at his limit) it would be a 3-4 year age gap. How did you feel about having an all-girl family, and having all girls now?

@greyowl While of course parenting does not ever become easy, and that each age brings its own challenges, I do not think it compares to the early years in intensity - just the simple fact that a baby/toddler depends on you for absolutely everything and cannot do anything themselves or on their...

@chaitealatte456789 Thanks for sharing! I do hope that my girls are best friends especially if we stop at two, but I will say that literally all of my favorite men have exclusively sisters.

@alsdpa I do think it's important to take the long view on decisions like this, because it is a decision about the rest of your life, not just the next few years. Birth and infancy are intense and so occupy a lot of our consideration when making these decisions, especially because they are the...

@heloise23 Thanks for sharing! That sounds like a hard childhood in a lot of ways - I'm sorry you experienced that.

@cehughes I'm sorry, that sounds really hard! Your siblings all have disabilities, or are there other reasons they are not able to be self-sufficient?

@tasrine That’s trying. If you’re having regular sex, you’re not any less likely to get pregnant than someone who is saying they are trying. You should take folic acid - the risk of fetal defects is highest when there are insufficient folic acid stores in the first few weeks of pregnancy.

@heatherlilly Thanks for sharing! Yes, I would imagine being put in charge of childcare as a child would create some resentment, but it's wonderful that it didn't seep into your relationship with them and that you're close.

@mitchellh Thanks for sharing! Three sounds so ideal to me, but I think we're going to end up staying with our two, sadly. How many kids do you have, or want?

@nehuge Thanks for sharing! I have two girls and making my youngest into the middle child gives me pause - she loves being the baby, and I worry that she'd feel "forgotten" like you did as the middle child and second girl! But agree that 3 sounds nice because there are more opportunities for...