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@tiglathpileser This is nothing against you but soooo many comments are suggesting therapy. We are both in individual therapy. I am going to add that as an update.

@brucepjr Thanks for the link. I deleted my newer posts due to a user commenting pretty aggressively that my husband has a point and doesn’t find me a trustworthy person to care for our child. It really really rattled me so I ended up deleting it rather than engaging.

@alearose Thank you for this reasonable take, it’s very nuanced and i appreciate it. As far as gifts are concerned, I am of the “prescreen and quietly donate if we don’t like it“ mindset. I think the extreme boundary setting about gifts is a way for him to continuously move the goal post because...

@carolyn111 Not only do I go to therapy, but he actively encourages it because he says I am always stressed and in a bad mood. He is also in therapy but like I said in another comment I only see the difference as having given him a lot of therapy like vocabulary to use during arguments. My...

@kinai It’s not that I am not allowed near her, it’s that she’s not allowed to babysit/be alone with our daughter. So I keep coming up with excuse after excuse to keep her away and I kind of feel like I am pushing her away and soon will reach a point where she won’t want anything to do with me.

@kinai That she’s fine and trustworthy.

@sergyi 100%

@l22 We have not; we have individual therapists.

@tj00110 I suppose it’s possible. But the sleep deprivation isn’t as bad these days, my toddler is sleeping through the night for the most part or only waking once!

@tj00110 He definitely has stuck his foot in his mouth and he absolutely admits that his standards for anyone interacting with our daughter are insanely high—but it seems to all relate to my family, and he gives his own family a pass for doing the exact same things my family does that he...

@tj00110 I am right there with you. I have been open with her about my concerns and she does get it. I just think it’s such a deep part of who she is that she can’t help but bring it up. I’m ok with it being a continuing conversation but my husband isn’t and every time she fails at it, I bear...

@lemondrops What I don’t understand is what the point of isolation is. I don’t understand how it benefits him.

@luther27 I really appreciate you and SO WISH I was in LA, California is where I would love to live eventually. I definitely do have girlfriends that are more just mine but most of them do know and like my husband. Early on in our relationship I definitely lost the majority of my social circle...

@l22 Thank you. I really appreciate it. The worst part about it is knowing that even if we were to separate, my life would be very difficult and isolated because being separated wouldn’t change him not allowing my mom to help. If I go behind his back on that I am afraid he would use my...

@defd2000 Thanks for this actual realistic advice. I think about this a lot. I am certain that if we were to break up, I would be cared for financially in the interem while I get a job, and would have his help in setting up a new place to live, getting a car etc. and would have access to half...

@ezzeking Clearly your husband is a much different kind of person. There are absolutely power dynamics at play in a lot of SAHP relationships. I do have full access to all of our money, however, and I don’t ask permission before buying things for myself or the household.

@l22 But I DON’T have that power. I am a stay at home parent. I don’t have a job. All our accounts are shared. I am fully, 100% dependent on him. Comments like this are what I wish my life was like, but it’s just not. If I had that power I would not be in this situation.

@akags Thank you so much for all of this. I really appreciate it. Today I have been telling him a lot of this and how I would like to have her help sometimes especially when he’s gone but he just keeps reiterating that she “stomps all over our boundaries.” I think his obsession with no clothing...

@theweebabyjesus Regardless of how beneficial it is for our daughter not to be exposed to those toxic ideas, I am the one bearing the brunt of the hard work when he travels and I don’t have my mom to help me.

@k9subsea Interesting that you say that, he diagnoses basically anyone he dislikes as narcissistic. What about this comment made you think that? The fact that he is in therapy and hasn’t made improvements?