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@fateh Oh, if I visualize a perfect holiday, it would be four kids. If I had quadruplets, we'd be golden! I understand exactly what you mean. If I could guarantee that the second baby would be a minituare version of my daughter, it wouldn't even be a question I'd be asking. I didn't put a ton...

@rufus Really yo-yoing. If you asked me a month ago, my response would be, no I absolutely want to have another child, I've always wanted another child, I wish I had another child by now but well, whatever, we'll just have another child later than we hoped. Then I'll foster children when mine...

@toomanythoughts Thank you. I'm for sure thinking more practically now than when our daughter was 2-3. At the time it was very much a, "just take the diaper genie out of the closet, let's go." Figure it out as we go along sort of thing. I was also quite a bit younger and was only a couple of...

@shicomi I'm so sorry about your experience. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I had a miscarriage, and partially prefer not to think about it - though obviously I'm thinking about this decision a lot. I agree that it's ultimately an emotional decision. We wouldn't be having a second...

@josephahmed Oh for sure. It's practical concerns as well with daycare. I know kids get sick in group settings, and I love that I have an option to avoid that when they're super little. I start work at 6am and finish at 2pm - makes dropoff really annoying if my husband can't make it (our...

@josephahmed It's so funny because this entire time--until I spent like four hours last night reading through this sub and related--I completely took it for granted that my second baby would be exactly the same. A bit of hubris too, you know, like "our baby is so special because we're just so...

@rox485 Oh god lol sorry. I guess I'm realizing it's important piece of information, as in I have no frame of reference to what it could've been like (worse) except what I've read or heard from others, and that, you know, if anything we have rosy glasses on, so our spot on the fence is...

@lashepard "You're too young and this is an entirely unnecessary expense in your circumstances, that won't be covered by your insurance, so you'll have to haggle with them around the $10k price tag, though I know people in your position were able to negotiate it under $500." He just thought it...

@katrina2017 Yeah I will definitely rebalance the budget to see how this would work with additional help. I presume I'd go the nanny route, but I mean that's over $3k a month for 5 hours a day, assuming $30 an hour which is probably on the low end. We can do so much with $3k a month lol. Ugh. I...

@katrina2017 Oh that bad? I assumed that she was the epitome of an easy baby, even then I kinda figured she was just super chill, but I didn't realize it was that unusual. Figured other babies have colic and yeah I don't know I'll stop talking. Sounds like we really lucked out, and she's a very...

@kik899 Definitely seeking a form of validation. I've seen posts for various topics where it was obvious that the OP was just coming up with excuses (at least from what's written), and I was hoping for a sanity check on my maybe doing the same. Similarly, none of this is set in stone, and I...

@kik899 Wow, thank you for sharing your story. I am not certain which part of it could possibly make you look bad. That's heartbreaking and I'm so sorry your family had to go through that experience. I have absolutely no idea how I would have felt in your shoes. We have such an odd history...

@kik899 I definitely understand the feeling of impending regret. If you'd have asked me a couple of years ago, I absolutely would have said I'd regret not having another. I think my problem is that I'm not sure I'll regret not having another child at all. My philosophy for things that upset or...

Edit: if my title double negative makes no sense, I think I agree with you, sorry. I posted in oneanddone, and I think it very much firmly pushed me into the one and done camp. If interested, However it would be nice to hear some differing perspectives to help navigate these feelings. Our...