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@secondstoryempires So it's OK to love people platonically as long as they're not our ex. Got it.

@secondstoryempires Because in my value system my feelings weren't disrespectful at all, and IMO it only ever comes across that way when people are insecure, closed off and too scared to be open to various kinds of nonthreatening, platonic love. I was laughing about how flustered he got, but I...

@threads317 Although it's been decades, I remember one particular conversation like it was yesterday. I was on the phone with their dad begging him to go to counseling with me to get help to improve our coparenting relationship because of how it was damaging the children, and he said "that's not...

@secondstoryempires Respectfully, I don't see any conflict here at all, but what I do see is that some people severely limit the definition and usage of the word love, thereby setting up a false sense of threat to their primary relationship. In other words, an ex spouse feeling platonic love...

@threads317 Now I have no idea why you were downvoted lol IMO you present an extremely rational, balanced approach to the whole question. Unfortunately I was like you but had the same type of coparents, which made things unnecessarily adversarial and frustrating for 14 years. And as my...

@secondstoryempires I was laughing about what my ex said. I created a paragraph before that section to make that clearer.

@skupi It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, (even that I think this is tearfully wholesome), because as long as y'all are clear about your boundaries and your significant other understands that there are different kinds of love and doesn't feel like there's anything inappropriate going on...

@omslaw And whatever her mom's reason were for moving 2000 miles away, that was still her choice, and if it didn't occur to her that at some point it might mean having less time with the kids because they might want to stay with their friends/do activities that are local to you over the summer...

@omslaw That might be a trade-off your daughter is willing to make so she doesn't miss out on the entire season, and presumably the same thing would happen next year. My daughter would have wanted a say.

@stillost1573 I'm strictly guessing here, but I think it may have to do with the apparent lack of flexibility possibly caused by a tit for tat mentality.

@omslaw Yeah, I assumed your daughter knew, I was talking about if and when you should have a conversation with her about what she wants to do about it.

If you talk to your ex first and she says no, then it would be bad for you to talk to your daughter and find out she really wants to do that, because you'll already know what her mom will say. However, if you talk to your daughter first and finds out she really wants to but then your ex says no...

@omslaw It seems to me that she's old enough to contribute to the decision. Why can't she see mom this summer but come back to you in time for practice?

@slvceli I suggest you start by talking to a lawyer who will hopefully give you a free consultation. Maybe through documenting all of that there's something you can do legally for him to not have any visitation, or only supervised visits.

@mygisfy I recently finished quite a few years of therapy because of stuff with her and something else that I figured out happened to me as a child, and as part of overcoming my "helpless child" script I was finally able to set healthy boundaries with her, which I don't think anyone has ever...

@yellowbird12 The first time my mother slapped me across the face was when I was in seventh grade and got a B+ on a Spanish test. I got the highest grade in the class but she was still really upset and said I should have gotten an A. I'm 66 years old now and have never, ever forgotten that moment.

@avidatheist25 Sounds like a good plan.

@avidatheist25 Unfortunately, as much as you want her to have a good relationship with her father, you have no control over that. Have you considered seeing a child psychologist for their help with that, especially because you have no personal support system to give you advice?

@jeremygray36 Therapy, ideally, for you and your daughter as soon as possible.

@ibelieve31 "Make her go"? Curious how exactly how you think he would he be able to make her do anything?