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@roberte A floor bed in the Montessori room could work, and it's better than a toddler bed (wherever it is) for hair access. You'd also get more flexibility about when to put the 1yo to bed in your room.

@axdxs This is the way. OP should only do laundry that’s in the state she requested. He can either comply or wash his own clothes. Personally, I don’t fold my husband’s infinite number of socks. There are only three styles so they don’t need matching. We just have a clean underwear basket...

@thetwister Wouldn’t you rather live with your mom (if that’s an option) and go to school than with him? How old are the kids and how much do you want to reduce their contact with him?