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@nserchoftruth I truly love this group. They’re so helpful. Someone on here helped when my daughter was taking like 2-3 hrs to put to sleep and then she was like up barely an hour later and it was a really rough period of time. They gave me an eye opening reason and we haven’t had any issues...

@nserchoftruth I struggle with sleep too!! Including going back to sleep. I’m sorry that this has been so hard with difficult advice coming to you. I remember using the affirmation of “if my daughter wakes up at night there must be a biological reason.” Especially before 12 months with SIDS. I...

@nserchoftruth I’m 34 and last night I woke up twice to grab a drink of water. I couldn’t imagine if my husband rolled over and ignored me or completely blocked my ability to whet my throat 🙃 It always boggles my mind when doctors recommend this for literal infants. When there is a chance that...

@favourfelix I would look at second hand websites! Also; wait till the end of the semester when these sites get flooded with returns! I found mine at a used bookstore. Look in both the psychology section and the neuroscience/neurology section. I see his stuff everywhere! You could also try your...

@tiei You can’t teach self soothing (aka self regulation). It is through you “sharing your calm” that the brain begins to create neural pathways that allow the child to eventually self regulate their own emotional experiences.

@cubicist 6-7 years sorry. In “Affect Regulation and the Origin of Self” he reviews the first 2 years of a child’s brain development. And it’s 600 pages so that’s hard to summarize but at the conclusion much of the learning to self regulate happens within the first 2 years and lays the...

@jess75 Of course. To be fair you’ll always find experts on all sides but to be honest, it feels cruel to force a child’s brain into independence when we are literally born with the capacity for connection.

@eveningstarjj My daughter is 26m and we still cosleep. She needs it. I need my husband to sleep soundly. She has a lot of my temperament so it makes intuitive sense to me. You meeting your baby’s needs is teaching them to self soothe/self regulate. They learn it FROM you,

@rollo22 I will say that I agree with your point that there are lower needs children yes. However, what I say to people is that it’s not that they learned to self soothe - they didn’t. They just learned that you aren’t coming. Brain studies show that the area of distress is still active in the...

@iccs The way I laughed all the way out loud 🤣🤣🤣 to be honest, I say that too sometimes hahaha

@sharkdive1 Yes! Love that phrase. Also; much of my healing came in accepting that fact as well. They did the best with what they had. AND two things can be true at once: they did the best with what they had AND I didn’t have my needs met in the way I needed. The flexibility of thought is...

@trivialator You could! It’s technical and boring but incredibly fascinating. To be honest, even just reading “Affect Regulation and the Origin of Self” was healing to me as well. It is 600 pages documenting only the first two years of brain development in a child and really hones in on the...

@sharkdive1 Absolutely. Everytime you attune to your child you are actively helping create the pathways needed towards helping them self soothe so to say. Bowlby called it internal working models. Meaning how you respond to your child will lay the foundation for what they can give themselves AND...

@jess75 Hi, psychologist here 👋🏽 please tell him to read all of Allan Schore’s volumes on affective neuroscience which demonstrate at a neural level that infants CANNOT self soothe and this part of the brain doesn’t even develop till closer to 6-7. Furthermore, the consistent attunement to your...