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@jo412 Because it's not helpful and it comes over as gatekeeping when you go 'oh well it sucked for me and while I could actually be helpful, it should suck equally for you'. Trust me. That first year, without the money for childcare or family to help us, we barely had time to eat some days...

@steelcityd You...really beat the hell out of that strawman, didn't you? My point is that the sheer amount of 'just read the book' is frustrating when the chances are good that the person asking for help just...doesn't have the mental bandwidth or physical time right now to read the book. We...

@babylonfive 'Make time' is one of those amazingly unhelpful phrases like 'figure it out' or 'you'll need to make a plan'. It is callous and speaks to an astonishing level of privilege or...yeah, mean-spiritedness. Sometimes there is no time to make, when you're trying to take care of a sick...

@babylonfive Pet peeve - something I personally find annoying. Not something EVERYONE is going to find annoying. Nobody is asking anyone to type out a book (...nor did I say anything even close to that, what?). But saying 'well I'm not going to help you, I had the time and money to hire a...

@rjdb I love to read. It's just...time right now. Time and money. Saying 'oh lol just read this fairly dense and dry book and it'll solve all your problems' is not especially useful to someone who already barely has the time to eat.

@shaughnessyym Without going into specifics, my wife would not have been up for that at all.

@shaughnessyym Breastfeeding was when I either got to eat, do a tiny bit of housework or use the bathroom. The *only* time, generally. Otherwise, if our baby wasn't being actively tended to, she'd be howling, meaning my wife couldn't work/sleep/recover.

@shaughnessyym No idea. A lot of folks seem to have family to help out. Or kids that can be sleep trained. Or can afford daycare. Or can afford childcare. Or has a more easygoing infant. It boggles my mind that people had hours in their day to read something because we had a lot of days...

@susansusan None of the books I see recommended here are available on audio, or are stupidly expensive.

@iwanttodie I'm an avid reader. I still don't think I'd have been able to read something for 15 minutes a day, internalize it and implement it. But I don't think you quite understand what my day was like during that year. Between a sick wife, a bad sleeper, work and trying to stay on top of...

Just something to get off my chest, partially humorous but there's a serious side too. Have been coming here since baby was very young, desperately looking for help as a first time father with a very difficult, high needs, sleep-training-resistant bad sleeper that drove me and my wife up the...