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    I'm 42 with a 7 month old - want more but am EXHAUSTED

    @mic54 The “second child with special needs” is a massive fear of ours as well, especially since I’m older and more at risk for stuff. We’d terminate for anything diagnosed in utero, but some stuff isn’t ascertainable until the kid is already out of the womb. Our first is a unicorn - bright...
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    I'm 42 with a 7 month old - want more but am EXHAUSTED

    @mic54 As beautiful as my life shaped up to be, my husband is very adamant that our life will be richer with 2+ kids, and based on my not positive experiences being an only, I'd be happy to trade a good amount of travel experiences to give my child a sibling relationship. All of this said, if I...
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    I'm 42 with a 7 month old - want more but am EXHAUSTED

    @4jesusl0ver2 Aww, thank you! It was a going-away party (when I used to be an expat) and a ton of my friends were at work or pulled in a ton of different directions, and I just chatted up the bartenders and Facetimed with friends of mine in other countries. But yeah, being an only child was a...
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    I'm 42 with a 7 month old - want more but am EXHAUSTED

    @4jesusl0ver2 Thanks for this. It'll take a WHILE for me to wrap my head around wanting an only child by choice. I always figured if I had just one, it would be by circumstance (i.e. we couldn't conceive again) and at that point, my husband and I would feel like we tried our best and there's...
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    I'm 42 with a 7 month old - want more but am EXHAUSTED

    My husband (39) and I (42) have a gorgeous, smiley, curious, babbly 7-month old. For AGES, we both were on the same page that we'd either have 0 kids or 2+ kids. He had a great childhood with his sister (who is now estranged from him as an adult, but the childhood memories are still there)...
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    Anyone want more kids but OAD was ultimately the right choice?

    @leonardod Yeah…it’s the “what ifs” that kill me. I mean, the “having no friends” is a simplification; I was unpopular due to a bad perm and unfortunate fashion choices in middle / high school and didn’t truly find my social footing until my 20s/30s. Now I have a large network of friends I...
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    Anyone want more kids but OAD was ultimately the right choice?

    @leonardod I’m in a similar but not same boat - I KNOW that going through pregnancy and infanthood / early toddlerhood a second time will destroy my mental health and I’ve even told my husband that. We have ONE 15-month old. No village. We are somewhat high income (our taxable income on our...
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    Is it madness to have another baby at 42-43?

    @johnl1153 One of my good friends, who is Aussie, had her first child at 40 and her second at 43. We met in Hong Kong when we were both corporate lawyers at the same firm. VHCOL cities like NY, London, SF, certain Asian cities… incredibly common for women to delay having kids until they reach...
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    Is it madness to have another baby at 42-43?

    @johnl1153 I had my first at 42 and I know so many moms who had their first or second in their 40s! In certain parts of the world it is SUPER NORMAL to have a first or second child at 40+.
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    Could someone decide for me 🙃

    @clare5890 This could be me, except I'm 43 with a 16-month-old and my situation was either to have a second one ASAP (like two pregnancies unhealthily close together) or risk being OAD and not by choice. For a long time, I was adamantly, violently against being OAD. I was terrified my son...
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    Could someone decide for me 🙃

    @frknfly You hit the nail on the head. "Choosing me over a choosing a second child." My husband and I are warming to the idea of being OAD (or more or less accepting that this is where we're at not necessarily by choice) by realizing how much our health and happiness will be torn to shreds if...
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