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  1. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @churchbuilder I don’t disagree with you. I think my response of ‘having a stranger raise my kids’ was from a place of anger at the inequality in the workforce for women in the US, not as an insult to working moms and I’m sorry it came across that way. I’m looking for jobs now and I’m finding...
  2. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @churchbuilder You know that isn’t literally what I meant. It feels like you’ve just been trying to pick a fight with me through out all these comments.
  3. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @churchbuilder Because my salary is lower and that’s what makes or breaks it it’s worth it. If I stay home, we make less but wouldn’t be paying for childcare at all and I would get to spend time with our kid. If I don’t stay home we make more and basically break even on the cost of me working...
  4. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @churchbuilder There isn’t really any ‘pitching in’, all our finances are shared.
  5. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @angelica009 I agree. It was never a problem we had until we bought this house.
  6. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @sportmom I agree with all that. We made the budget together and he usually does talk to me about big purchases. I think the issue is the little purchases adding up. He talked to me about buying a dust collector and we agreed it was okay, but then came a couple small visits to the hardware store...
  7. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @angelica009 Only car loan is one for $250/month which seems like very little. We don't have much debt. Our mortgage payments are definitely on the larger side (we own two rental properties and our own house) we're about to sell 1 of the rental properties. I think my husband is a heavier spender...
  8. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @paulk6454 I guess I inadvertently misrepresented debt that we have. I always hear horror stories of people in tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and we don’t have any of that so I tend to forget that the other stuff counts as debts. We have three mortgages, two of which are rental...
  9. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @sportmom "From your responses it sounds like your mortgage payments are pretty much covered so where is the bulk of your money going?" I don't know, and that's the most frustrating part. We're not contributing anything to any investment accounts or even paying taxes upfront on all our freelance...
  10. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @mandyonfire It's not nothing, but I could very easily make that part time freelancing from home. Socialization for baby & mom is huge and not something I had thought a lot about. I have been thinking a lot about the expense being just temporary and it would get better once the kid is old...
  11. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @tim_o I guess that's true. I don't think about the student loans because they're my husband's, and neither of us carry a balance on our credit cards. Looking into finding a financial planner now.
  12. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @hughestimo Only 1 car payment for $250, and only 1 student loan payment thats always around $250 each month (it's my husband's), we do have a $500 monthly payment for some new windows we financed earlier this year, and 3 mortgages (2 rental properties) but the profit on the rental basically...
  13. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @rewind2grace I think there’s more of a conversation to be had, but I don’t think his anxieties over finances are unwarranted since we can barely make ends meet as is.
  14. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @alexey57 It does irritate me :) But he has a million other great qualities aside from the few difficult ones. I think part of truly loving someone is accepting the parts of them that make them feel like a royal pain in the ass lol. The worse thing for me that he does what I like to call "hates...
  15. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @peccatoris I agree 100%. I think he has some insane expectations he places on himself, on me, on everyone around him and the world in general. I also think there's some untreated/undiagnosed OCD.
  16. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @alexey57 I agree. We've done that but it's hard to make and stick to a budget when we both freelance and our monthly incomes fluctuate each month. We do need to crack down and spend less but it's hard because it doesn't *feel* like we're big spenders. It's concerning to me too... my husband is...
  17. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @greenrock I enjoy working and it fulfills me, but I have to give up my career anyway (I travel for a living right now) I'm happy to give up my career to be a mom... but I have very little interest in working a job I'm not passionate about for zero money and never getting to see the kid. We're...
  18. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @justpassingby I don’t have an employer, I’m self employed. Hence the reluctance to go out and get a job when that’s never been my career path :(
  19. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @rightway2truth Ah! That must be it. I'll talk to my husband about finding a planner instead of an advisor. Do you know how much you spent roughly to see her?
  20. M

    How do people afford kids????

    @greenrock Super helpful. Will do. Thank you!
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