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@imnathaniel Learning to learn is something we try hard to teach him. Do you know of any good strategies for that? Comparisons with the achievements of others is something we specifically want to avoid. I'm sorry you were put in that position.

@jandrews Oh, you are absolutely right. That's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to send him to school at 5. So far thought we've gotten good feedback on emotions from milestone assessments but he's 3 so how much self control can he have haha.

@desperatehokie Thank you so much for this thoughtful response! I feel like you hit the nail on the head. I'm just going to send this as a whole to my husband.

@valentina13888 We've mostly signed him up for classes to meet other kids and practice things he's not so good at. Being bored alone is not something he can do but I was the same until way later. Do you have any tips for that? We are feeling pressure because he will be fed into the...

@ernestservant I guess we forget and expect more emotional maturity and less testing boundaries. If he does regular 3 y/o things are we're tired, we can be too strict (still gentle parenting as much as sleep deprivation allows). I'm working on that a lot. There is an after school program for...

@christianbella Absolutely agree. I was sold the lie that being the youngest to do X was the path to success. Turns out burnout can really mess up your future plans.

@simondarok Thank you for your perspective on skipping grades. I'd rather he go to 1st grade at 5 or 6. We're definitely not pushing him to "achieve great things" because that doesn't sound healthy and has messed up some of our distant family members. We'd like him to be happy and earn enough...

@joyandhope You're being very hard on yourself. I'd be more than happy if he grew up to be a mediocre scientist. The consensus does seem to be to keep him at age rather than intellectual development level.

@gizmorazaar Wow, you've described my son. He seems also very engaged in preschool and likes it there. But he doesn't love it and doesn't care to talk about it/his day there much. We don't care about him being first and youngest to do X. I believed this in school and uni, so I know first hand...

@whittney1234 That's a good tip with talking about what might happen in advance. I've also explained to him I don't want to be made to lose, so if he wants to change the rules so much, he can play alone while I watch. This workaround has helped a bit when the competitiveness and associated...

@katrina2017 You bring up a lot of good points. We're very much letting him guide us, which is why I know a lot about fire extinguishers but am also trying to figure out how to explain division (ironically, something I struggled with in school). We also haven't followed any curriculum but a...

@petrasophie We're definitely waiting until he's 4.5 to assess whether he's emotionally ready for school. He likes preschool and hated daycare (same building, partially same staff), because it was so loud and boring. Even still, he's never excited to go there and would rather stay with us. But...

@carlpetrus I'm glad our struggles are entertaining to you. I guess the repeated evaluations by our pediatrician and daycare staff are worthless in the face of anecdata. I'll let them know. For what it's worth, I do closely know two highly functional autistic children from their toddler ages and...

@jwmercer I've got a really good psychiatrist that I trust and have been seeing for years. I'd like to think he'd catch it, especially since he works with gifted individuals with autism and/or ADHD. That's one of the reasons I know to watch out for burnout, depression, and anxiety in our son.

@carlpetrus Now I'm on the spectrum too? Damn, I'll let my psychiatrist know.

@gibletjoy We're looking at screenings but unless the pediatrician prescribes one, you have to pay several hundred € out of pocket. They're not done before 4-5 either, unless there is something obviously wrong. Since there is so much overlap between giftedness, autism, and ADHD, we'd like to...

Our toddler (3.5) is likely gifted. We can't/don't want to get him assessed until he's 4 or 5, but our pediatrician, daycare staff, friends, and other doctors have commented about how advanced he is. This isn't something we bring up because (i) we don't want to label him this early and (ii)...